Why India TV is the Most Entertaining Channel in India
India is a very funny place, and there are so many things to laugh about on TV. There’s scandals, drama, aliens, witches, tantrik babas… Yes, I am talking about our most beloved and backup comedy channel: INDIA TV.
Here’s a list of five best breaking news I have seen on India TV so far:
5. Do aliens drink cow’s milk? (Kya alien ghai ke doodh peete hai?):This news was of a great concern to the middle-class aunties (who want safe milk for their families), doodhwalas (milkmen) and idiotic bloggers who have an enormous amount amount of free time and nothing to do (Commerce/Arts students). In this one hour informative report, they let us know that aliens come down on earth every night and consume the milk of lactating cows and replace it with water. Thus, the confused look the doodhwala gives when you accuse him of mixing water in your milk. Poor fellows!
4. Does Sachin’s brain have Satan in it? (Kya Sachin ke dimaag me wakey ekk shaitan hai?): This question has been giving Indians sleepless nights for decades. In this extremely informative program, we get to see a 3D diagram of a human brain (supposedly Sachin’s) from different angles and the specific place where there is enough space for Satan to be in (not joking). We also see some clips of Sachin getting bowled out by Pakistani players. Shoaib Akhtar, Inzamamul Haq, and Shahid Afridi were some of the prime suspects who might have planted the Satan in Sachin’s brain.
3. UFO sucks up a cow from the sky. (UFO ne aasman se khich li gai): The aliens finally realized that the transportation cost of milk from Earth every night is too high and thus decide to carry some cows for themselves. Quite obvious!
2. Witches beg for onions at night (Chudail maange pyaaz): Even the witches suffer due to the inflation in the market and thus are compelled to come out at night and beg for some onions. If you find some witches at night, help them. Sharing is loving.
1. Aliens keep a close watch on Himesh Reshamiya (Himesh par aliens ka nazar): India TV has a good connection with aliens and found out that the aliens are keeping a close watch on the popular nostril-singer of India. This news was further emphasized with a 24 hour count-down of the alien’s arrival on Earth to gobble Himesh up. Unfortunately, the aliens had to cancel their plan after requests from the news anchor (who himself looked like an alien) to spare Himesh’s life. Himesh was so touched by this that he himself came on-air to thank the alien-looking anchor for his life. Himesh was so shocked that the video feed was just a picture and he sounded like a gorilla with a blocked nose. Totally legit. Right?